Sleepy little memories

Sometimes when Carter cries up in his room, he falls right back to sleep...and as excruciating as it is to wait it out, it is usually pretty clear whether he needs us or whether he is 3 minutes away from nodding off again. But oh, even those 3 minutes can feel like a lifetime, and I inevitably get a knot in my stomach and don't breathe quite right until he's sleeping soundly again. Tonight he fell asleep at around 8:15pm, and based on his normal schedule, he shouldn't be up again until 8:00am (with the potential for a quick snack around 4:30-5:00 am). But just as we were finishing a West Wing episode at 9:45, the red light on the monitor was beaming and the screen showed a very upset little man. I went upstairs to see what was going on- because it just wasn't the kind of cry you ignore- and I think he had some kind of nightmare (??). Anyway, I started rubbing his back and quietly singing a little, and he gradually started to settle down. He finally closed his eyes, sighed, wrapped both his little hands around my arm, and laid his cheek against my hand. Sometimes it hits me that I really am somebody's mommy, and I found myself just staring at that angelic face, praying I never forget these precious little moments. As I ever-so-sneakily loosened my hand from his grip (and promptly woke him right back up),  he rolled on his back, squinted up at me, and gave me a huge sleepy smile before passing out again.  And I melted. That little boy upstairs has absolutely stolen my heart!

Books, Baths, and Bedtime Fun!

 Bedtime has become a family affair these past couple of weeks, as this 20-something pound ninja baby finds new ways to wiggle out of our hands every night! Getting him into his pajamas around flapping arms, kicking legs, and a twisting tummy literally leaves us out of breath at times. I know, we are total rookies!  Although I offer an extra pair of hands, bedtime is really Dad's time to hang out with his little man. While I should take this time to read, clean, or just sit in the silence I never hear throughout the day, I always find myself listening to thumping feet and muffled giggles as my two boys roll around on the floor above me...and I can't tear myself away! The older Carter gets, the more fascinated he his by his dad, and the more he absolutely adores him. And to be honest, watching my husband transform into this little boy's hero has made me fall in love with him all over again. 

February 2012

8 MONTHS! 

8 month old Carter is wild, absolutely wild! And I love it! He is so much fun and keeps me laughing every day. Changing diapers and getting this little wiggle worm dressed is getting to be virtually impossible without a second set of hands, yet somehow we manage... My little dust mop rolls all over the floor- wood or carpet...keeping him on a blanket is thing of the past, and he can army crawl across a room in seconds. He is especially interested in anything that stresses his mom out- hanging iphone charger cords, for example!  We are frantically baby proofing the house these days and he keeps pointing out what we've overlooked. He loves eating new foods (yogurt is his new favorite!), and he makes all kinds of sounds-- mama and dada are heard on a regular basis--but I think it's still merely a coincidence if he says it while looking at me or Taylor :) He sleeps well at night, but naps are hit or miss... we went 3 days straight with an hour morning nap and a 2.5 afternoon nap, and I was sooo excited about all that i could accomplish in that 2.5 hr window- running 3 miles, showering, doing work at a normal hour...but then Thursday, after a 30 minute afternoon nap turned into a screaming session, we decided to spend the afternoon in the stroller, walking around our yard and walking up and down the driveway on this beautiful spring-like day in hopes of lulling this strong-willed little man into a much needed nap. But to no avail... Carter likes to keep his mom on her toes... just when I think we're in a routine, he switches it up on me! But if he's still his smiling, happy self after only 30 min of napping, I can't complain. I am fascinated by every little thing he does, so much so that I filled my phone's memory up with videos from the month of February only! I just can't believe that my sweet little newborn is suddenly capable of moving himself around the house and learning to open books and clapping and interacting with me like a little person...babies are just amazing! 

SO happy every morning and every time he wakes up from a nap!

Sweet Gamer- so exhausted by the baby

Showing off some new moves to his dad and grandpa

He somehow tore that piece off... these baby toys are no match for our big guy!

He got his first cold... and although he didn't get much sleep while he suffered through it, he still had quite enough energy to get into situations like these...

Lunch with his grandparents... he can only stay calm in a high chair for a few brief moments, so we all end up eating in shifts when Carter joins us at a restaurant!

Meeting Caitlin Bodzy and Charlotte Bury... surrounded by girls :)

They're starting to get used to him

Trouble...

Making friends...there wasn't even food on his fingers here!

Hard at work

Hanging with his grandpa

Big guy

I love this new sleeping position... but he is way too light of sleeper for me to capture it on camera, so here's the next best thing

Such a tough life

Shopping with mom - he loves sitting in the front of the cart, smiling at all the other customers. 

Buddies

Loving his new toys and hanging in his pack and play--as long as we're nearby to keep him company

Best invention ever... the johnny jump up... he's obsessed!

After his baptism - he did so well and of course loved all the attention!

The closest she has ever come to a human without food or some other type of coercion.

Working on waving

Grabbing everything he can get his hands on

The army crawl...

THE messiest eater ever..and so proud of it!

Two more teeth! 

He loves the books with flaps to lift up... and he'll stop and look at me when I get to a page he recognizes to wait for me to read the words he knows. And then starts laughing at me. Too cute.

Playing with grandpa

Beach baby

My little man and I went on a quick solo trip to FL to see his grandma and grandpa while they were in Daytona for a race. We made it through two flights and two crowded airports with only one minor airplane meltdown (which of course happened when the seatbelt sign was on and it was too bumpy to even try to break the rules and walk around...) BUT we survived!  He LOVED the beach, especially when quite a few alarmingly brave seagulls started circling above him while in the baby bjorn (mom was not as pleased with the proximity of the screeching birds and booked it out of there!). We had a great time, playing with grandma and grandpa's dogs, sitting in the sand, commanding every bit of grandma and grandpa's attention and staying up WAY past his bedtime to bask in their adoration... and of course, indulging in lots of naps in the ocean breezes!  AND his aunt Anne and uncle Bobby woke up early on a Saturday just to come see us off at the Orlando airport! Poor Carter was so disappointed to wake up the following morning to just his mom to entertain him... :)

June 27, 2011 10:57 am

I loved being pregnant. I had no morning sickness... in fact, I was praying to throw up or at least feel nauseous throughout the entire first trimester. I spent the night before each doctor's appointment in tears- walking into the exam room, shaking all over, and keeping my eyes closed and fists clenched around Taylor's hand until the doctor promised he could see that little flicker of a heartbeat. I calmed down a bit once we hit the second trimester and began to embrace the idea that there was a healthy baby in my tummy....and I realized how completely in love I was with him already! I found myself daydreaming all the time, just completely amazed that I was going to have a baby!

I felt him kick for the first time at 17 weeks, in the security line at the Las Vegas airport. I froze, shoes and laptop in hand, with a not-so-thrilled group of hurried travelers behind me, and rushed to tell Taylor-- who gently reminded me that we were about to be stampeded if we didn't hurry forward-ha! So began the most fun part of pregnancy. I felt great, had a cute little tummy, and could feel my overly active little guy jumping, hiccuping, and wiggling all day long. Fast forward nine months... my cute little tummy had quickly grown so large that a sweet hostess actually expressed concern that I wouldn't fit into the booth at our favorite Mexican restaurant (which sent this overly sensitive pregnant girl into tears! haha). Taylor and I were in the midst of moving, and our house wasn't completed yet, so I was completely happy to keep Carter right where he was., and he was just as happy to stay put. He showed absolutely NO signs of entering the world on or around his due date (June 20th), so the doctor scheduled an induction on June 27th at 41 weeks. I really wanted him to come on his own time but deferred to the doctors, and started planning for our little man's now-scheduled arrival!

On Friday June 24th, Taylor and I went on one last mini vacation by spending the night at a downtown Nashville hotel, eating great food, watching in-room movies while snuggled in bed, recalling old memories, and saying goodbye to the only "us" we'd ever known. And we continued to enjoy a relaxing weekend, loving on the dogs and trying to wrap our heads around the idea that we would be meeting our baby that Monday morning!

Taylor woke up early on Sunday morning to go fishing (like 4:30-5:00 am early!), but it was raining. He then woke me up to see if I wanted to go out to Pancake Pantry. Being a total morning person and completely pancake-obsessed, I hopped out of bed as quickly as my hugely pregnant body would allow and off we went.
Taylor spent the next few hours watching movies on that rainy Sunday, but I couldn't sit still. I showered and took advantage of my planned induction by making my hair look pretty (total waste of time), but I just didn't feel right. Taylor kept asking me to sit down and watch a movie with him (since the two of us could literally spend an entire weekend watching movies!) but I had these very slight weird pains in my stomach and couldn't stop walking around and fidgeting. While I'd like to think I'm an intelligent person, it did not hit me that I may be going into labor... until I found myself curled up on the bed, unable to breathe through the pain, telling Taylor this definitely wasn't "it.". He called the hospital who said to time the contractions and to come in once they were less than 5 min apart- which we knew but were far too panicked to remember. We started timing them and couldn't get more than 1-3 minutes between them... I was convinced we were timing them incorrectly, but my sweet husband grabbed the overnight bag and told me it was time to go. I started listing off things that needed to be done before we could go, but he somehow convinced me to just go in to the hospital to be checked out. On the way to the hospital, he started calling our "labor list"... and I kept chiming in in the background that there was no need to panic...that it was clearly not happening yet. All this while I was literally doubled over in the worst pain ever! I actually remember saying to Taylor that it wasn't supposed to hurt this bad... and he made the very astute point that yes, child birth has been known to cause a bit of pain in most women! By the time we made it to the hospital, Taylor's anxiety was starting to show through the calm mask he had been fighting to hold onto...and he almost jumped out of the car after this guy who stole a parking spot from us in the Vandy garage!  We then proceeded to get lost walking into the hospital and couldn't find the labor and delivery department. When we finally found it, they rushed us back to a room where they confirmed that I was definitely in labor (I had been convinced that they were going to tell me those weren't real contractions and that my very low pain tolerance had me fooled).

I'd like to say I handled the pain with complete composure, but to be honest, I was crying by the time I was 1 cm, and they were about to send me home had my water not broken right there in the triage room! They asked if I wanted an epidural, and I just told them that I was absolutely ready and willing to accept any pain meds that wouldn't hurt the baby... So yes, I happily submitted and took the epidural at 1 cm (in my defense, the contractions were super intense and coming every 2 minutes or so...ha ;)) I am not ashamed to admit that I have no pain tolerance and had no desire to feel any part of labor... which is probably what jinxed me! Over the next 22 hours, I flip-flopped between my normal happy, laid back self to a complete mess- throwing up, crying and apologizing profusely to anyone who would listen. Apparently I was suffering from "hot spots" where the pain meds failed to work... And Taylor has told me that I described this unpleasant experience by telling him that it felt like my insides were being torn apart or something along those lines. But then the doctors would fix the epidural, and I would start smiling again within seconds--those meds are amazing...

The good news is that my anesthesiologist resident figured out the problem right as the doctors were telling me that I needed to get ready to deliver the baby without meds... Oh that sweet resident (the next day, he tracked us down to write his patient evaluation before he graduated...and I literally hugged him while Taylor gushed about how grateful we were to him...and I remember him backing out of the room pretty awkwardly, so I am pretty sure we were a bit too enthusiastic... haha).

This whole time, my mom and Taylor were in the room with me, and my aunt and grandma were either in the room with us or in the waiting room... for some reason the doctors all kept thinking Carter's arrival was "imminent" so no one wanted to go home! Every once in a while a doctor would float the idea of increasing some pitocin or performing some other measure to kick things off, but I didn't want to rush my little guy, and his heart rate never showed distress, so they just laughed and said he was on his own schedule!  So finally it was time to push, and while Taylor says I was a total overacheiver, pushing longer and more often than they even asked me too, I will admit that I was just afraid the meds were going to wear off again! So 3 hours of pushing later, we heard the midwife say, "I need help! This baby is huge!" or something along those lines... and a nurse ran over to help her hold him and then he was whisked away to the pediatricians... and on his way over there, I heard the sweetest sound in the world, that first little cry (which, of course, sent me into tears)! The doctor's were all shocked at the unexpected size of this giant 9lb 5oz, 22 inch baby, and my mom rushed over to watch, never taking her eyes of her new grandbaby. Meanwhile, Taylor held onto my hand and wouldn't let go, and then we met him... They set him in my arms, and after a minute of trying to figure out how to hold this giant newborn, I looked into those beautiful little eyes and nothing else mattered. I had never in my life seen a more precious face....His little eyes were wide open, and in typical Carter fashion, he was already searching for food, mouth wide open!

The next couple of days in the hospital were a blissful blur... the doctors and nurses at Vandy were amazing and our family and friends were wonderful. I convinced Taylor to spend the night at home with the dogs so he could rest up and be ready to help out when we got home. And that first time the nurses rolled my little man into the room, and it was just the two of us, I finally got it... why people had kids. And I can't explain it, but I got it, and I couldn't believe we had waited so long to have one! He was perfect, and I literally couldn't stop staring...and as soon as he fell asleep, I would start wishing he'd wake back up so I could watch him take the world in. My first solo diaper change at 3 am was an absolute catastrophe that ended with me calling the nurses with my left hand and using a diaper to block him from peeing all over me with my right while he spat up continuously and I thought he was choking... But somehow we got the hang of it and 2 days later, for some reason, the hospital decided we were capable of caring for this itty bitty human and sent us out on our own... :)

Meeting my little man!

SO awake from the beginning 

My sweet husband, didn't leave my side or sleep for 30 hours...he's a keeper :)  And yes, Carter is already searching for food- he had absolutely no issues in that department.

My amazing 87 year old Grandma refused to leave the waiting room for over 20 hours...no naps or anything. 

My cheerleaders...grandma, aunt Megan, and mom

At this point we had no idea of how long of a night we were in for... it's times like these that I am especially grateful for marrying my best friend!