Goodbye Tubbs :(

I don't know what to write--there is so much to say, but I miss my Tubbie-bear so much, it's actually a little hard to breathe right now. I just need a way to tell people that he's gone--so here it is. I was still so tired after my weekend in Houston that I decided not to go for a run and to sleep in a little later, so Taylor left quietly for work....and I woke up to Gamer barking as usual :) But then I noticed Tubbie's ever-present panting/breathing was slower than normal. I got out of bed and lay down next to him, just talking to him and petting him. Something wasn't right... and within a few minutes, he started to have a seizure, so I held him in my arms, telling him over and over that I loved him, and that God couldn't ask for a better buddy to sit next to him in Heaven... and then he took one last breath and never took another...

We prayed he would go in his sleep so we wouldn't have to make the decision for him...and we are so grateful that he went peacefully. Taylor came home from work--I still don't know how he got home so fast, but he did. And our boy is now at the vet--he's being cremated today, and I'll get his ashes on Wednesday, so he can be with me all the time, where he belongs.

We are heartbroken and trying to distract ourselves--but I can't think straight and feel like I can't cry anymore... Taylor made me a list of things to do to distract myself, and then we're going out to a steak dinner to celebrate Tubbie's life. At this point, I've crossed one thing off and am actually dreading having to walk across the house to go take a shower-- Tubbie would always bark to come with me and camp out on the bathroom floor until my shower was over. It's kind of comforting just sitting here at the computer becuase he would have been happiest here at my feet, sleeping quietly...the second I get up, the silence will become so obvious and I'll be reminded that he's really gone. Life goes on, I know-- but to be honest, this just sucks right now. I want him back :(

He was the greatest dog--the best friend and my constant shadow. I know it will get better with time, but for now, I am lost without him. Sorry for this rambling post- I just don't know how to announce this kind of thing, and I know if I tried to do it in person or over the phone, I would fall apart again.

Please pray for our Tubbie--and if you have lost a loved one, maybe say a prayer that when they see a big yellow labbie boy come up to Heaven, they make some room for him by their feet, and give him extra hugs for his Mom and Dad. I can already picture him up there with my grandpa and Taylor's grandpa--He said his "Boss" would have loved Tubbs, so they are hopefully hanging out together now :)

We love you so much, Tubbie--rest in peace, sweet boy.